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In my research, to truly trust a partner, you must say: “I don’t feel much of anything toward my ex.” Hanging on to strong feelings about the past prevents you from developing trust in a new relationship.
My client Fran, a 38-year-old fit, attractive professional, has been trying to work through her trust issues with her fiancé of five months, George.I hadn’t seen her professionally for a number of weeks, when one day, out of the blue, she scheduled an appointment.She entered my office, took her old familiar seat on my sofa, and burst into tears.This emotional baggage prevented him from seeing how truly loving and supportive Fran was in their current relationship.Of course, building trust in a new relationship is also about you and your partner’s trustworthiness or ability to be reliable and honest.This includes what you do as a couple, where you go on dates, and how you support each other’s friendships, careers, and life decisions.
One way to build trust in a relationship is for you and your partner to share personal information with each other.
This sharing makes you feel closer and more connected to your partner.
In my long-term study of marriage, I asked the happiest couples to name their most important relationship expectation.
It’s impossible to leave a serious relationship or go through a divorce without some negative feelings toward the ex-partner.
But to build trust with a new person you need to let go of any strong feelings toward a previous relationship or ex.
Do they behave in the same way each time they are stressed out, upset, or full of love? Does your partner tell you the truth and not keep secrets from you?